Whether you’re planning to brunch, lay low, or go to a friend of a friends pregame this weekend, you’re going to need some things to talk about. Every Friday I’ll post a blog about a handful of the top stories in the world of Celebrity Gossip and Reality TV. Now you’ll look educated and informed when you get stuck talking to your friends boyfriends sister and have already complimented every item she’s wearing.
Are Katy and Orlando back together?
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were spotted at an Ed Sheehan concert on Saturday night, leading people to ask “are they back together?” In short, who cares.
But for people that do, things are looking up for the pair. Sources say “She sat on his lap most of the night and shared kisses.” My favorite thing is when news outlets say “sources.” Like, who are these alleged sources? Could I be a source? I need answers.
I think this is a weird couple and the whole naked paddle board thing turned me off of them. So, if they’re together, great. If not, even better.
Taylor Swift wins trial
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the Taylor Swift vs. David Mueller trial. Long story short, in 2013, Mueller (a radio DJ), allegedly grabbed Taylor’s butt under her dress during a meet-and-greet photo. Here’s the photo from TMZ, you be the judge:
She and her management reported the incident which ultimately led him to Mueller getting fired. So, naturally, he decided to sue Taylor. I have no clue why it took so long to surface, but what do I know about the legal system. Taylor countersued for $1 and won. During her testimony, she said, “He stayed attached to my bare ass-cheek as I lurched away from him, It was a definite grab. A very long grab.” Cringe. The DJ totally denied it but the jury sided with Taylor. I think it’s pretty noble of her to not actually make money from this, but instead give a voice to other victims out there. She’s also making a bunch of donations to Sexual Abuse organizations. Good on ya, Taylor.
Stassi is not okay.
If you don’t follow Vanderpump Rules, you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about when I say Patrick dumped Stassi on their 4 year anniversary. Honestly you don’t really need to know who they are to follow along, so keep reading. She posted an Instagram of the two saying Happy Anniversary and that she couldn’t wait to celebrate on their trip to Mexico. Fast forward like, a day, and Stassi took to Twitter to let the world know she’d been dumped.
So, she brought Rachel to Mexico on a romantic trip for two. I mean, on the one hand, it’s really sad. What a dick, right? She posted a crying Insta story being like “guys stop commenting ‘I was rooting for you’ on my photos.” Which, like, okay? If that was the meanest of the comments then girlfriend had it pretty good. But, the fact that she was literally sobbing and clearly not okay was kind of sad.
On the other hand, this couple is so on and off that she cannot truly be surprised. She also kept posting Snapchats and Insta stories of the sad Mexico scenes from Sex and the City. You know, when Carrie is being spoon fed by Samantha, and is like, “close the blinds,” “will I ever laugh again?” Things like that. We get it. It’s very similar to the Carrie and Big thing. Move on.
(*sidenote do I have a heart?)
Rumor has it Patrick finally agreed to be on Vanderpump this season, so are we going to get to see all of this play out? The answer better be yes.
Superbad is old AF
Superbad is officially 10 years old. Let that sink in. I was watching this when I was 16? That can’t be right. Is this movie appropriate for a 16 year old? Honestly, prob not.
How was it even possible to make an entire movie solely about 3 underage dudes trying to get alcohol? Idk, but here we are 10 years later and it’s one of the best comedies of all time.
This movie is a classic, and has given the world so many one-liners that I would personally be lost without. Let’s all take a moment to thank Judd Apatow for existing.
CABS ARE HERE
Hold. The. Phone. My mind and heart almost exploded when I heard this news. Jersey Shore has a new docu-series coming to E! (not MTV, awkward) starting this Sunday – literally, set your DVR right now.
This show holds such a special place in my heart and I can’t wait to watch them all get back together again and stir shit up. I haven’t noticed Ronnie in the previews, though. Too hard for him to be around Sam?! She totally has a serious boyfriend, you guys. And Malika and Ronnie are no longer a thing. Dra-ma.
But what about Deena and Vinny? There’s no reason why they shouldn’t be there. I have a hard time believing they’re too busy. Vinny hasn’t been busy since 2011 when he made a cameo in an episode of 90210.
Either way – GTL, drink your Ron-Ron juice and put on your shirt before the shirt because this is finally happening.
Wait, is Situation fat?
That’s all for this week. Have fun making small talk.