Blinded by the sparkle of a Neil Lane ring

Well, it happened. We all saw it coming but didn’t want to believe it. The world collectively weeped on Monday night as Peter told Rachel he didn’t want to get engaged so she decided Bryan would suffice. I’ll be honest, this season was extremely boring and I only half watched it as I simultaneously scrolled through every social media feed over and over until my eyes fell out. I don’t think I could even name more than 5 guys from this season or like, 3 important events. I had high hopes because Rachel is dope AF, but my expectations were not met. Once Dean was gone, I was uninterested. So from that point on, I didn’t watch because I wanted to, I watched because I had to.

In her defense, Rachel got the shaft this season when ABC delivered her a group of 30 sub par guys without personalities. Wtf, Chris Harrison? We all knew she’d pick Bryan after the first time he aggressively consumed her face and made us dry heave.

43f24789-b223-4a66-a238-ffdb753563fd_orig.jpgLiterally who are any of these people?

In true Bachelorette fashion, the finale was 3 hours long and cut between the show and the live studio audience sitting on pins and needles waiting to find out what happens. To nobody’s surprise, Eric gets sent home and it’s down to Peter and Bryan. Peter (who has been telling her from the beginning that he isn’t ready to propose) tells her once again that he isn’t ready to propose. A couple of thoughts:

  1. Rachel, why did you keep him around so long if you knew he wasn’t ready? He didn’t even ask your parents for their blessing.
  2. Peter, why did you come on the Bachelorette if you didn’t want to propose at the end? Do you own a TV?
  3. Where’s Dean?

I definitely get both sides. But, how painful was it t watch Rachel literally sit there and beg Peter to propose to her? She hates Bryan, you guys! She cried her eyelashes off! Ugh, I get it, it’s the Bachelorette, and there’s supposed to be a proposal, but I wish Rachel could have just been like “okay, let’s date.” They have only known each other for two months, after all. Is she in it for the free Neil Lane diamond? That means she has to stay with Bryan for 2 years. TWO FUCKING YEARS!  Best of luck to you, Rach. 

So after Peter & Rachel break up, they bring them both out to talk for the first time since then on live television and it is cringey AF. We know by now that Rachel is “happily” engaged (despite Chris Harrison’s best efforts to tell us we have no idea whats going to happen next) but she is still mad at Peter that he didn’t commit. She can’t believe she’s stuck with Bryan and might have to live in Miami. The best part is when she continuously tells him that “this process is not for him.” AKA she would rather die than see him be the next Bachelor. She’s planting her seeds and not very subtly.

Throughout the whole season, we’ve been wondering if Peter was truly in it for the long haul and just couldn’t quite get to the point that he was ready to get engaged, or ​if he’s strategically confirming his spot as the next Bachelor. If this has been his plan all along, then bravo. He said all the right things, and made America fall in love with him. Is he a master manipulator, or just like, a normal human person who doesn’t want to marry someone they just met? The world may never know.

​Cut back to the show, Bryan proposes and Rachel acts like it’s exactly what she wanted all along. He has no idea what happened prior to this moment and he thinks she rejected Peter on her own terms. I can’t. Is he going to watch all of this and be chill with the fact that Rachel was doing absolutely everything in her power to get Peter to propose? That’s humiliating, but I don’t think Bryan cares. I get serious psychopath vibes from him.

So, now the question is, who is the next Bachelor? Rachel made it very clear that she does not want it to be Peter. But does she have any sway? Would ABC risk him pulling a Juan Pablo and not proposing at the end? Dean has already told us he’s not ready. I keep hearing rumors they’re going to give Ben Higgins another chance, which I am not okay with. He is so boring and nice. Not into it. So, who is it?! I’m having anxiety wondering about it, but I guess Bachelor in Paradise will have to distract me for now.

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