A love letter to Bravo

When I moved into my most recent apartment, we went through all of that standard motions of moving, including choosing a cable package. After it was installed, I thought everything was good to go. One of the new features was voice command, so naturally, I turned it on and said “Bravo” into the remote. We didn’t have Bravo. I don’t know how to describe what I felt in that moment, but I imagine it’s similar to when you find out someone close to you has died. I was on the phone with the cable company immediately demanding they add Bravo to our package. It was going to cost us an extra $58269 a month, but money was no object at this point. Moral of the story, I need Bravo in my life. Not only has it given us Andy Cohen, but it’s given us some of the classiest gems on TV. You can always count on Bravo to keep you company with a marathon when you’re hungover on Sunday. I wanted to take a moment to share a couple of my favorite shows on the network, in order of importance. 

VANDERPUMP RULES

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Not only is this one of the greatest shows on Bravo, but arguably one of the greatest shows on television. It’s about a group of attractive people who work at one of Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurants, SUR, and all they do is drink, fight, and (sometimes) work. I’ve done my fair share of waiting tables, and this show weirdly makes me want to do it again. Although, working at SUR seems a little more relaxed than the places I’ve worked. The servers spend half of their time drinking wine in the bathroom and the other half sitting out back having a heart-to-heart and/or confrontation with someone. Can you imagine how many people walk into SUR everyday asking for a job?

I had a mini heart attack when Stassi left for a season, but she came back and continued to be a bitch that you can’t really help but love. She parades around and forces her friends to do whatever she says, and some people (Scheana) legitimately fear her.

giphy_2_orig.gifNot gay Tom Sandoval got hair extensions last season and Jax got a boob job. Katie (finally) got married, so we’re done with the whole show focusing on her. Lala is dating a married man and James Kennedy is dating an 8 year old. There is literally no reason to care about these people or there lives, but I do. I really do. ​

SOUTHERN CHARM

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This show is gold. I recently got bored and decided to re-watch the show from episode one. It took approximately 3 days. The focus of this show is a group of rich southerners in Charleston and the trials an tribulations of their day-to-day life. About 2 of them have jobs and the rest of them were born into money so they have zero responsibilities (relatable). The ages in the group range from Kathryn, who’s 25 to Thomas, who’s 54. Oddly enough Kathryn and Thomas have 2 kids together. But she’s not a gold digger, she wears pants from Target! They have had some custody issues lately because Kathryn just got out of Rehab – life, am I right!?

Cameran is the moral compass of the group and I have never been more jealous of someone’s metabolism. She eats fried chicken and donuts for every meal, yet she’s about 110 pounds. She also makes Stauffer’s lasagna and frozen mashed potatoes for her husband and tells him it’s homemade. She’s just like us! Cameran is best friends with all of the guys on the show and gives them sound advice on their shambly lives. Shep is 36 years old and goes out more than I did when I was in college. This past season, he went to the doctor after getting winded from playing basketball for 3.5 minutes. The doctor told him to maybe stop drinking for a week to see what happens and Shep was like “lol.” ​

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I physically tense up whenever Whitney makes an appearance. He’s arrogant and airs a serious “I’m better than you” vibe. All he has going for him is his money and the fact that he can play like 3 notes on a guitar. His mom is extra AF and I can never decide if I love or hate her. She has a butler and legitimately rings a bell when she needs him. Also, just as a side note, the theme song to this show is everything, ​
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
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As shocking as it might be to some, I don’t watch all of the Housewives franchises. I’m an Orange County girl through and through. There are honestly too many to keep up with, even for me. I dabble in Beverly Hills and New York, but the OC is where my loyalty lies. However, they have cycled through a lot of housewives through the years, and now that Heather is gone, I don’t really like any of them. I used to be 100% team Tamara but now she’s very into bodybuilding and I can’t handle it. She and Shannon have become an evil little duo determined to take down Vicki and Kelly Dodd. Do not even get me started on Kelly Dodd. Lydia is back on this season and she is quite possibly the worst person on television. Her intro is “If you can’t handle my sparkle, stay off my Rainbow.” I have no words. Meghan has a baby now so naturally she wears a trucker hat that says #MomLife, and it’s upsetting. 

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I have to admit, this might be my last season with the ladies of Orange County. I can handle a lot of reality TV trash, but they might be enough to send me over the edge.

​Anyways, thank you, Bravo, for delivering me hours and hours of the mindless television that I need to survive. Xoxo.


One thought

  1. I’m so sick and tired of listening to Tamra and Shannon constantly bashing Vickie. Do they not have another storyline? One minute Tamra is a Christian and next she’s using the most vile language I’ve ever heard in my life! Bravo please get rid of her and Shannon!! Shannon is constantly overly dramatic about everything. I don’t know what her religion is but whatever it is, it’s not working for her. Maybe she’s worshipping a rock! Shannon claims that she gained 40 lbs because of Vickie but we all know that it’s because of her terrible marriage. If her husband having an affair or affairs on her didn’t make her gain weight, I’m sure what Vickie said certainly didn’t make her gain weight. And just FYI, Tamra getting baptized doesn’t make you a christian, living for God does!!!! Wash out your ignorant mouth with soap and find another storyline because that one has played out!!!!!!

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